Working as a night auditor at hotels was one of my most favorite jobs..and I've had a few. None of the others brought me book recommendations from drag queens and lot lizard and the trucker she hoped to serve...hmm that's an odd start.
I worked at a moderately priced Hotel chain in the midwest. At about 2am someone buzzes to speak to me, the doors are locked at 10pm just to be safe. I buzzed in two very tall drag queens with reservations (yes all puns intended)..makeup still attached, I still
don't know the trickery needed to hold all that on, with wigs and gowns long gone. Before they could say much more than "Honey, I think you have ...", another buzz and another drag queen, this one still gowned-though cheaply- has arrived. Assuming he is with the others I buzzed him in. The two at the counter looked at each other and then at me. I realized that perhaps the third person was not only not with them, but not a drag queen. The two nicely made up gentleman tried to whisper but you know how well those tall fellows with big adams apples whisper-no matter how dainty the earrings are..."Honey, that lady was climbing up to the trucks and knocking on doors...". I turn to what I can now guess is a prostitute and ask if she was a registered guest or offering a particular type of customer service we don't allow. She promptly calls myself and the others an unfortunate name before storming out.
I apologized profusely and explained that every truck parking area has an issue with prostitutes who knock on doors looking for clients at some point. As the glamorous duo are graciously accepting my apology, one of my regulars- a trucker, buzzes in. He immediately announces "That damn lot lizard keeps trying to get in my truck". While I phoned the police, since she clearly hadn't left, I listened with an equal mixture of horror and glee as the trucker answered my two guests questions about the definition of lot lizard (a prostitute that services truckers, door to door, in a lot of course). He went above and beyond..discussing in detail about the subject. By time I got off the phone they were fast friends, the three of them. I finished registering the guests and off they went to eat at Denny's together.
The next night the drag queens left me a book with a note saying the book series reminded them of the night before and anyone doing my job would dig it.
Clearly, I read the book that night (I mean really, who needs to complete their work?). I absolutely died laughing. If your looking for a serious piece of literature or hoping to impress Oprah, this isn't the one for you. Don't judge this by its movie! While the movie was funny-ish, it lacked the depth of the book. One for the Money and the whole Stephanie Plum series makes me laugh with improbable plots, unique characters, and better Jersey characters than that odd Snooki person. We have drama in life, reality is what we wallow in daily. I'll choose something else whenever possible. Something that makes me fill lighter, freer than before I started it! This is well written, lots of fun and I think more fun to discuss at a book group than something about some tragic whatevers...I mean their is a time and place for everything..and I read a bit of everything. (Oh my, it looks like I'm about to offer some sort of book review...finally?)
Hopefully, you have plenty of time and places for an ex lingerie buyer, turned bounty hunter working for her perverted cousin, who partners up with an mostly ex prostitute and can't seem to keep her bullets and gun in the same damn place. The two men in her life? Holly molly! Have a fan ready for some hot stuff!
So the book review isn't ready for Oprah either...oh well..I can dig it.
Yeah, its clear why the gentleman of dress left this for me..fit right in.
I worked at a moderately priced Hotel chain in the midwest. At about 2am someone buzzes to speak to me, the doors are locked at 10pm just to be safe. I buzzed in two very tall drag queens with reservations (yes all puns intended)..makeup still attached, I still
don't know the trickery needed to hold all that on, with wigs and gowns long gone. Before they could say much more than "Honey, I think you have ...", another buzz and another drag queen, this one still gowned-though cheaply- has arrived. Assuming he is with the others I buzzed him in. The two at the counter looked at each other and then at me. I realized that perhaps the third person was not only not with them, but not a drag queen. The two nicely made up gentleman tried to whisper but you know how well those tall fellows with big adams apples whisper-no matter how dainty the earrings are..."Honey, that lady was climbing up to the trucks and knocking on doors...". I turn to what I can now guess is a prostitute and ask if she was a registered guest or offering a particular type of customer service we don't allow. She promptly calls myself and the others an unfortunate name before storming out.
I apologized profusely and explained that every truck parking area has an issue with prostitutes who knock on doors looking for clients at some point. As the glamorous duo are graciously accepting my apology, one of my regulars- a trucker, buzzes in. He immediately announces "That damn lot lizard keeps trying to get in my truck". While I phoned the police, since she clearly hadn't left, I listened with an equal mixture of horror and glee as the trucker answered my two guests questions about the definition of lot lizard (a prostitute that services truckers, door to door, in a lot of course). He went above and beyond..discussing in detail about the subject. By time I got off the phone they were fast friends, the three of them. I finished registering the guests and off they went to eat at Denny's together.
The next night the drag queens left me a book with a note saying the book series reminded them of the night before and anyone doing my job would dig it.
Clearly, I read the book that night (I mean really, who needs to complete their work?). I absolutely died laughing. If your looking for a serious piece of literature or hoping to impress Oprah, this isn't the one for you. Don't judge this by its movie! While the movie was funny-ish, it lacked the depth of the book. One for the Money and the whole Stephanie Plum series makes me laugh with improbable plots, unique characters, and better Jersey characters than that odd Snooki person. We have drama in life, reality is what we wallow in daily. I'll choose something else whenever possible. Something that makes me fill lighter, freer than before I started it! This is well written, lots of fun and I think more fun to discuss at a book group than something about some tragic whatevers...I mean their is a time and place for everything..and I read a bit of everything. (Oh my, it looks like I'm about to offer some sort of book review...finally?)
Hopefully, you have plenty of time and places for an ex lingerie buyer, turned bounty hunter working for her perverted cousin, who partners up with an mostly ex prostitute and can't seem to keep her bullets and gun in the same damn place. The two men in her life? Holly molly! Have a fan ready for some hot stuff!
So the book review isn't ready for Oprah either...oh well..I can dig it.
Yeah, its clear why the gentleman of dress left this for me..fit right in.